Business Show

There's got to be a better way 

Of earning cash than this!

A three hour drive, at half past five

Is just taking the piss.

Now here we are, we've manned our stand,

Well womaned actually,

And nailed our perfect smiles on

'Cause we're here 'til half past three.

Oh there's got to be a better way 

Of getting through the day,

Outside the sun is shining

And my life's slipping away.

If another bleedin' sales man

Stops and asks us what we do

They'll be picking up their teeth

And I'll be swearing in the loo!'

There's got to be a better way 

Of bringing in the bread,

Another year of doing this....

I wish that I was dead!

When will that winning ticket

Find it's way into my grasp?

A million quid would do it,

My escape, at last, AT LAST!!

Sometimes

Just sometimes,
I wish I were something other than I am.
I wish,
That just sometimes,
I were, a great big, hulking man.
I wish,
That just sometimes,
I could show the world my strength.
Instead of keeping quiet,
Like a good girl.

Like a good girl.

I wish
That just sometimes
I could.....

Our Best Friend

Too hot to move he lies upon the once cool stone.
Hot indeed,
But preferable to baking slabs around him.

'Poor dog,' he thought, 'poor dog,
I can't remove my coat like you
To stop the scorching of my skin.
Instead I lie, baking in this brilliant furnace.'

'I see you laughing in the shade,
Cool drinks clutched in your careless hands.
You will not feel the heat of burning ears lying in the sun.'

'Poor dog,' he thought, 'poor dog;
Why do you never think of me,
whilst pandering to your own needs?'

And then the flies began to buzz
And landed on his heated back,
And dog, poor dog, he couldn't see
The things that made this cruel attack.

'Enough,' he thought, this poor dumb thing
Whilst staring out through betrayed eyes,
And pulling on the iron chain
He strained and tugged and yelped and cried.

'Go see the dog' the woman said,
To children playing on the grass.
So eagerly he greeted them,
That set the poor thing free at last.

And none thought of the hurt they'd caused
Or saw the sorrow in his eyes,
In loving them he gave his life
For all their cruelty and their lies.

So why poor dog were you this way,
Left chained up on a summers day?

Egbert Wipe

This poem was written for Martin. It's happy, and it's about pies, as requested.

Hope you like it!

Egbert Wipe he stole a bike

Whilst dressed up like a nun,

This all night party monster

Was stuffed full of stealing fun.

He'd had a drink, or two or three,

In fact; that's just a lie,

He'd had much nearer twenty

And now rode in search of pies.

Oh! Pies with shortcrust pastry

And with tasty fillings too,

A pie and then another pie,

And then a massive brew.

He wobbled to the market

Where he found the bakers stand,

But was hampered by his wimple

As he ran off, pies in hand.

Then his balance just deserted him,

And on his face he fell,

Pies abandoned on the tarmac.

But there's one thing more to tell.

Poor old Egbert was arrested

For his theft of tasty pies,

And the caption in the paper

Made much fun of his disguise.

So the moral of this story

Is 'don't drink before you ride',

And if you're wearing fancy dress

Then stay away from pies!

Glint

Misused, confused,

My trust abused,

Your burning hands 

Were not refused

My life forsook,

Your touch, your look

My reputation 

Cost enough.

But how you lied

I'm cast aside

My dreams, destroyed

I see your pride

That devil quick, to spite, to fly,

The glint, that evil, 

In your eye.

Kindle

I'm going to go on Kindle,

I've got the 'How to' guide,

I've even got some words to sell,

My tongue has been untied.

I'm really quite excited,

My first e-published book

But to follow those instructions,

I'll need more than bloomin' luck!

The Doctor

Today's contribution is from a man who plays the bass guitar.

Oh I like smoking cannabis,

I like smoking pot,

I like smoking weed I do,

I like it quite a lot.

Catchy little rhyme!