Egbert Wipe

This poem was written for Martin. It's happy, and it's about pies, as requested.

Hope you like it!

Egbert Wipe he stole a bike

Whilst dressed up like a nun,

This all night party monster

Was stuffed full of stealing fun.

He'd had a drink, or two or three,

In fact; that's just a lie,

He'd had much nearer twenty

And now rode in search of pies.

Oh! Pies with shortcrust pastry

And with tasty fillings too,

A pie and then another pie,

And then a massive brew.

He wobbled to the market

Where he found the bakers stand,

But was hampered by his wimple

As he ran off, pies in hand.

Then his balance just deserted him,

And on his face he fell,

Pies abandoned on the tarmac.

But there's one thing more to tell.

Poor old Egbert was arrested

For his theft of tasty pies,

And the caption in the paper

Made much fun of his disguise.

So the moral of this story

Is 'don't drink before you ride',

And if you're wearing fancy dress

Then stay away from pies!