No More..

I'm pretty good at being me,

I think the thoughts I've always done,

But nowadays those thoughts are stale,

And days are rarely fun of fun.

Now circular thoughts that

Will. Not. Quit.

Take over more and more,

And analysing 'ifs' and 'maybes'

Drives me to the floor.

I've found the straw I've heard about,

(The camel has long gone)

Now desperation's punching me,

It's time to learn a different song.

No more for me, 

The paths I know,

It's time to draw another map,

It's time to work towards my goals,

Escaping from this

'I can't' trap.

I take responsibility,

For all the things I haven't done,

And put them in a box, behind me,

Turning now to face the sun.

And acting, 

Pushing through the fear,

(That maybe I just can't succeed)

Has proved that I was just plain wrong,

And in the process

I am freed.

Inside Out Mind

It cannot understand the change when it comes.

It's shifting to a beast who's madness makes it eat itself.

There is no more reality, no logic, no natural progression of order.

It moves.

A huge flat head suspended on a thick short neck rises and falls

 in manic indecision.

Blind sockets strain, to no avail. 

Long ago those orbs sealed shut. 

Unused, they ceased to be of purpose and slowly sank into obsolescence.

'I DO NOT NEED TO SEE' it roared, 

'MY WILL IS ALL, NONE CAN DEFEAT ME!'

And slavering, it bent its head as vampire teeth took hold its flesh and ripped and tore in wild abandon.

Blood ran.

Rivers then oceans of ichor took shape, blighted with pieces of itself, 

dead meat to putrify and stink.

It smelt the rot and shouted out its rage and hate.

'WHAT IS THIS STENCH THAT SO INSULTS ME?? 

IT SHALL NOT REMAIN!'

It had no eyes to see the thing that so offended was itself.

But madness had secured its fate. 

It ate.

It ate itself until the pain became a force that stabbed and screamed and retched with every breath. 

It halted.

'How can this be?' it asked.

'I kill and kill and kill again. There should be naught here but me. 

But now I feel myself least of all.'

And slowly, like the tearing of time its huge, dead eyes began to open.

All around it was death.

The creature bellowed, a sound to shatter bone.

All that remained was its head, a monument to everything wrong with it's life.

'THEY TRICKED ME!!' 

It cried as darkness clouded out its sight and Death arrived on a wave of silence.

'What is wrong with the world?' it asked as it died.