Egbert Wipe

Egbert Wipe he stole a bike
Whilst dressed up like a nun,
This all night party monster
Was stuffed full of stealing fun.

He'd had a drink, or two or three,
In fact; that's just a lie,
He'd had much nearer twenty
And now rode in search of pies.

Oh! Pies with shortcrust pastry
And with tasty fillings too,
A pie and then another pie,
And then a massive brew.

He wobbled to the market
Where he found the bakers stand,
But was hampered by his wimple
As he ran off, pies in hand.

Then his balance just deserted him,
And on his face he fell,
Pies abandoned on the tarmac.
But there's one thing more to tell.

Poor old Egbert was arrested
For his theft of tasty pies,
And the caption in the paper
Made much fun of his disguise.

So the moral of this story
Is 'don't drink before you ride',
And if you're wearing fancy dress
Then stay away from pies!