A Naked Girl,

A carvan,

A snake with just one eye,
An armful of rare orchids..
Tell me
Can a bullfrog fly?

A precious gem, a hurricane,
A cat that holds a tune,
I have another question now,
What time of day is June?

A lion with a jackdaw,
A boxer with a lamb,
And a jar of small catastrophies,
That tells me who I am.

A harlequin, a swimming pool,
A sun that never dies,
It's raining in my tea cup,
Tell me,
Can a bullfrog fly?

Twitter on

D'you know, I don't think I can cope with much more excitement!

Having started this blog just over 3 weeks ago, and finding that I am having an almost improper amount of fun updating it, following links to other bloggers and stumbling around some wonderful websites; I now find myself suddenly imbued with a rash and hitherto unanticipated confidence in virtual me. I can do it! I exist, virtually as well as actually! And, after being gently guided by the invisible hand of self belief, I now find myself with a brand new Twitter account. I'm sure this is a good thing except that I don't understand what it's for, I'm not really sure that I need it and I'm absolutely certain that I don't know what to do with it!

I opened the account on Saturday. That bit was easy. I know my name and my email address quite well by now and submitting that information was the most challenging part of becoming a Twit. Some might argue that I've been a Twit all along; but then they would wouldn't they?

I've chosen my twitter name, or is it address? Regardless, I went with my name on the grounds that it is a) easy for me to remember b) easy for me to remember.

But now what? Well, I stared hypnotised at the ever scrolling roll of tweets that dribbled down the twitter.com screen for a couple of hours. As my brain started to melt sanity finally prevailed and I scrambled away to get some help.

Webdoctus is useful, Nerve  is useful AND funny!

So, after extensive research I now know that when I tweet I:

• Must tweet to my audience (when I have one) on subjects both entertaining, interesting and relevant to them
• Must follow and be followed (confusion, am I, or not?!)
• Mustn't tweet too often
• Mustn't tweet too infrequently
• Mustn't just tweet about me, me, me!!! (oh dear.)
• Must link to interesting things
• Mustn't link to things that might upset anyone (oh dear.)
• Must remember whatever I say can be read by ANYBODY on line. (again, oh dear.)

I know this is hard to believe, especially for those of you that have ever spent any time with me, but now I can't think of anything safe to twitter about! I really am a Twit (terrified what I twitter)

Oh well, let's hope my unconscious comes to the rescue before I twitter the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong way or I won't be a Twit for long!